• Karen M. Peeler

Marriage Wars


Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

I know this is probably hard to believe but as a young bride I was a little head strong and rebellious. Married at seventeen I had a lot to learn and probably more confidence in my own opinion than was useful. The first few years of my marriage was trial and error. I remember after one lively conversation with my husband I left and went to have coffee with my Dad. After a few minutes engaging in casual hellos I began to give him a play by play of the event that morning. Listening with compassion he sat quietly until I finished expounding. Then in the silence Holy Spirit jumped out of his heart and onto my skin! Conviction rolled all over me as my Dad said "God asks us to seek peace and work to maintain it".

What? You are not going to side with me? I'm your flesh and blood!! Thoughts like a roller coaster made there way up and down my mind and came to a resting place. He was right. In this moment as he faithfully listened to my heart he zeroed in on a "rebellious" root that needed to be evicted.

Peace is our goal. Simple but profound. What my Dad spoke to his young and immature daughter was truth. If I continued to plant seeds of discord I would reap a harvest of destruction.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15

Rebellion and pride within a marriage covenant crushes the seeds of truth God tries to plant within us designed to bring increase into daily life. Without an awareness of God's truth we grow bitter roots and trouble comes to defile what the creator has declared clean. Peace should be our goal at all times and especially at home. God never aligns with evil. When we come to him in prayer crying out for relief from sorrows but we are planting seeds of division, and refuse to forgive his response will be like that of his son.

"Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift".…Matthew 5:23-24

Peace is not the absence of conflict but the willingness to walk through the difficulties laying aside every carnal weight that keeps us from living in unity with God. Forgiveness is a surrendered believers way of life!

Today I want to encourage you and speak truth just like my Dad did to a young crazy seventeen year old so many years ago. Colossians 3:13 calls us to "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."

The next time your spouse does something to elicit an emotional response speak truth to yourself first before you respond.

Embrace the quiet in the storm. Go to your heavenly Father and receive the provision he has for you to overcome those emotional potholes tripping up your marriage. Refuse to open the door to conflict that creates a cycle of chaos.

Peace is our portion and through the power of Holy Spirit we can work to maintain it!

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

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