A Slippery Slope
Hello my name is MadaLin, and I am a recovering "compromiser".
My story began when I was 19, and I really liked a boy who was a couple of years older than me.
Our relationship did not start out as a bag of compromise. It started innocent. He would just hang out at my house and it was easy and it was pure.
I mean, I was raised in a Christian home by true Christian parents.
"I knew right from wrong, but sometimes momentary happiness can disguise itself as "right" and for the moment it looks better than the eternal reward."
Compromise is a slippery slope and it is enticing. So what changed? How did this innocent relationship take a turn and become a cage of compromise?
He moved. And when he moved we kept our relationship. Sometimes as bf/gf sometimes not, it was very on again, off again. The instability was very confusing and it created the perfect pressure for compromise.
"In today’s world of texting, (wow that made me feel like an adult), the atmosphere is ripe for lowering standards during private conversations."
When you are with someone face to face it is easier to read intentions. It is easier to say "no that makes me uncomfortable" or "stop, I'm not listening to that".
But text are hidden.
Culture says it is perfectly acceptable to keep the phone close and unseen and responding inappropriately is easy because it is not public.
No one is there to cover the conversation with accountability. But accountability is a must to maintain purity.
At first I would ignore the words he typed, that made me feel uncomfortable. But even though I ignored them, I wasn’t okay. This seemed like a really good plan but ignoring the problem only made it worse.
The text became suggestive, aggressive and more frequent. Little by little they stopped seeming suggestive and I started seeing them as playful. He said they were just for "fun".
I stopped ignoring and instead I joined the secret! And the more I provoked the deeper the compromise.
I woke up one day and realized I was trapped, caged and connected to the feelings that never completely filled my heart. The relationship became a cycle of pain.
Texting for "fun" wasn’t healthy for either of us.
"I had not only compromised and allowed this to continue but my life had become the hypocritical norm designed by the world."
Saying I was living for Jesus but only while standing in the light. In the dark, I was trapped and choosing sin. I was ashamed and isolated in a world I had allowed.
Deceived I had turned away from my first love, Jesus. I had replaced seeking Him with finding pleasure in worldly moments which could never compare to the goodness of God.
"When I stood in front of the mirror of life I reflected the wicked instead of the glory of God."
In my intentional sin I became like the people in Romans 1:18-21
But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused.
"I knew God but in my sin it was dark and confusion reigned. Those are the perfect words to describe what I was, what I had become, dark and confused."
1 John 3:4-6 says Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God. And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.
But anyone who keeps on sinning........ During this time, I was calling myself a Christian, but I was not reflecting the light. I did not have a full understanding of my Savior.
"I found myself walking in compromise instead of His redemption."
As the relationship progressed, the sin became normalized and the next step in this toxic relationship pointed toward marriage. One night as I thought about His offer I began to think how I would raise my children. What would I tell them about our love story?
Suddenly it was like a Saul/Paul moment on the road to Damascus. The blinders fell away and the Spirit placed the spotlight of truth on our relationship. I was no longer blind to the sin. No more could I ignore the secret sin, by God's Grace, it had to be brought into the light. This relationship was toxic and I needed to get out.
So where did I go? What did I do? The first step was repentance. The second was intentional accountability.
I went to the safest place I knew, my Mom, and I spilled my guts. I told her things that made me absolutely sick but I did it anyway. Admitting the sin brought it into the light and took the power away from the dark.
"Repentance and accountability kills compromise."
With these two weapons, covered in prayer and regular bible study, I escaped the cage of compromise.
"Jesus covered my sin and I overcame the cycle and the door to freedom swung wide."
The toxic relationship ended and my new found faith in Christ began.
I pray if you read this and the Holy Spirit has removed the blinders remember there is a way of escape. If you are entangled in the hunter’s trap of compromise seek a trustworthy friend and bring it into the light. The darkness cannot overcome the light when we turn away from deception and walk in truth.
You can get out! All it takes is a heart of repentance, accountability and a whole lot of Jesus!
Dear Lord , we thank you so much that we are never trapped by you, but free and like David in Psalms 124:7 we can stand up and praise because....
"We have escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap. The trap is broken, and we are free!" And we are free amen!
Relationships covered in compromise do not lead you closer to Christ. They slowly lead you further away from truth and become a cycle of sin. But there is hope. And there is Grace. Just like I chose to bring the compromise into the light you can choose to repent, seek accountability and grow through the pain.
©Woven 2016 All rights reserved